Sunday, September 28, 2008

A Moment

Current Reading: The Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis

Inspirational Quote: ""When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap." -- Cynthia Heimel

"Sorry, but if you're finished with that, could I have a look?"
"What? NewsMaker Monthly?"
"Yes, please."
"You do know it's the January issue, right?"
"I can see that, yes."
"That would explain C-3PO on the cover, yes."
"You can't really count on it for current news then."
"Granted. It is a way to kill time, though, and it's always a laugh seeing what everyone thought was important back then."
"If you like that, there's a March '68 here with Nixon on it."
"Nixon? Oooh! That'll double me over for sure."
"Here you go, then. Have you been waiting long?"
"Two NewsMaker Monthlies, a Northern Hunting and the June through September issue of the Sears catalog from 1984. Oh, and the Cat In the Hat. I can't resist Dr. Seuss."
"I had a ten-thirty appointment. It's quarter to two now."
"So it is. Time flies, hm?"
"The funny thing is, I haven't seen anyone come in or out of the office. Not even the receptionist."
"She's a nurse, actually."
"Nurse, then. I haven't even seen her."
"No, you wouldn't have. She's been let go. A bit incompetent, she was. Obsessive. She booked every appointment for 10:30 and filed everything under P for paperwork."
"How do you know so much about it?"
"Well, that is my name on the door."
"You're doctor Ramone the proctologist?"
"It's pronounced 'Ram-own,' actually. I think the sign maker was having a bit of a laugh. 'Ram-one' indeed."
"Shouldn't you be in the office instead of out here reading magazines?"
"Well, yes."
"Why aren't you?"
"A little problem with the door."
"The door?"
"Yes, it's locked."
"Locked. And I supposed the receptionist nurse has the keys."
"Oh, you're very good."
"Couldn't you call the landlord?"
"That would be me. I own the building."
"Then surely you have another set of keys."
"Actually, no. My wife handles all that. I'm too busy with my practice."
"Well then, why don't you call your wife and have her bring you the spare set?"
"Um... I could. Yes, I could try that. Unfortunately, she's not answering the phone. She's a little despondent."
"Oh, yes. Recently lost her job. Fired, actually."
"Ah. Fired. Receptionist, was she?"
"Nurse, actually."
"Yes, I thought as much."
"Still, so long as your here I suppose we could proceed with your examination."
"Do you think the waiting room is really the best place?"
"Oh, fine. Perhaps it's a good thing the office is closed. You're a very unco-operative patient."


slcard said...

Damn. I wasn't going to read here for awhile -- it's distracting me from my addiction -- and I most certainly wasn't going to comment -- a little too often is a little too friendly I fear. But when I laugh so hard my face hurts, something needs to be said.


slcard said...

Hi Ulysses,

I feel I must explain my comment above. Yesterday I was busying about my busy evening when the words "...a little too often is a little too friendly..." blazed within my head with the caption: Stupid, Ambiguous Thing To Say. I nearly tripped upon the street I strode upon.

I meant only that I did not want to appear to be evolving into, or Heaven forbid already be viewed as, some sort of a blog groupie. I truly admire your work, and very much enjoy what you do, and to be honest click on it a few times a day, whenever I run by the computer, just to see if there is anything new.

Now, as I mow the lawn, or fold clothes or cook, whenever my mind is free but my hands are busy, instead of visualizing my next scene or hearing the dialogue, instead I find myself pondering something you've said. I'm looking forward to the next laugh, or going through science texts in my mind searching for a formula, or I'm thinking of your food court exercise and thinking of the places where I do the same -- the soup kitchen, the senior care home, with the abused women I volunteer with (I'm not a predator, I don't go out searching to devour other people's lives, these are just some of the places where I have been the most moved by stories). As I think of these places I am again delving into their world, trying on their suffering, searching for an understanding of the strengths that allow them to go on, when I, who am blessed beyond the dreams of some of these people, might choose to pitch life and its profound sorrow. This would be fine if I was sketching a story, learning the characters, but I am writing the last ten chapters of an epic. I should be seeing the wink of blades, tasting the smoke, hearing the cursing and the screams. When I trip upon the street it should be because my imagined horse has faltered beneath me, not because I've said something stupid in a blog comment.

As you can see I have not your gift for being succinct; I think that is part of why I am so taken by your style. Please just know I am not a crazy person, I am just... a fan I guess, but just a boring, run-of-the-mill kind of fan. Despite this I must go now and focus on my own work. I look forward to checking back in after I write "The End" upon my pages.

And one more thing, because I know it's going to bug me. Let's not aspire to the bottom of the list. Oh, if we end up there, let's be happy, or what the hell, if we make no list let's still be happy, but if we're going to aspire, let's aspire for action figures.


Ulysses said...


slcard said...

I see now it just got worse and worse. You are a gentleman to have responded at all. Alas, I do not relax.