Wednesday, November 16, 2011
November Ain't Just About Facial Hair
Current Reading: Techniques of the Selling Writer, by Dwight Swain
Inspirational Quote: "Adoption is not about finding children for families, it's about finding families for children." -- Joyce Maguire Pavao
November is National Adoption Month.
I'm an adoptive dad. Telemachus and Aeneas (obviously not their real names) are biological brothers we adopted when they were nine and six. That was 8 years ago.
What's it been like?
Here's the truth of it: it hasn't been pretty, it hasn't been easy, and it's going to get worse as they get older.
But, as I've tried to tell them so often, nothing worth doing has ever been easy.
Is it worthwhile?
It's hard, and some days all I've got as a buffer between me and despair is the knowledge that no matter how much I screw up, I'm still better than what they had before (which was nothing). Sure, there's likely someone out there who could do a better job than I.
But they're not here. I am.
Adopting older children is tough. The damage has been done, and no force on earth can undo it. You have to live with kids who bear so many scars it's a wonder they're still kids. You can't make yesterday better. All you can do is make today the best you can and give them some hope that tomorrow will be brighter.
That's your job.
The day doesn't go by when I don't screw something up. But I'm there. Every day. I'm there in the morning, and I'm there at night and I do my best to make our home a safe place.
That alone makes me the best father these children have ever had. Because of me, they have a shot at a good life.
Consider adoption. You could be the greatest thing to ever happen to a kid.